Getting Real, Mentoring Advice from the Velveteen Rabbit

The Velveteen Rabbit is a classic children’s book about a stuffed rabbit becoming real through the love of his owner. He is given as a gift to a little boy for Christmas and ends up in a toy room set aside and forgotten. The book says, “no one thought very much about him (the rabbit). He was naturally shy and being only made of velveteen, some of the more expensive toys quite snubbed him. The mechanical toys were very superior, and looked down upon everyone else; they were full of modern ideas, and pretended they were real…”

Between them all, according to the book, “the poor little Rabbit was made to feel himself very insignificant and commonplace, and the only person who was kind to him at all was the Skin Horse. He was wise, for he had seen a long succession of mechanical toys arrive to boast and swagger, and by-and-by break their mainsprings and pass away…”

I laughed when I read this because I thought mmm hmmm, Margery Williams Bianco just described people she knew. I imagined her seeing actual faces behind the “boast, swagger and pass away” line and the humanity of it all is humorous to me.

The horse explains that “Real isn’t how you are made it’s what happens to you when you are loved for a long, long time. It doesn’t happen all at once. . . You become. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily or have sharp edges or have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all because once you are Real you can’t be ugly except to people who don’t understand such things.”

We adopted a tag line at the beginning of our program for teen moms, it reads “belong, beloved, become. . .” This seems to be the process; feeling a sense of belonging opens the door to feel loved and creates the courage to become everything you were created to be. Sometimes we feel forgotten. We are surrounded often by others who do not appear at all like us or to struggle in the way we do and by comparison, we always find ourselves lacking. We need to be reminded that unconditional love exists and that we hold inherent value because of the unique way we were created. These places we are called to are not for the faint of heart, “real” doesn’t happen often to those who break easily. So, here’s to those feeling lose in the joints and a little shabby today. The ones who are fighting to “get real” and loving unconditionally like the little boy. This is the place where we become the most authentic part of who we were meant to be because it reflects the one who both created and loves us unconditionally.

“May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” (Ephesians 3:19-20)

Releasing Joy

My daughter graduated from high school (which seems very surreal). I would like to say for posterity sake, I kept her alive, I still have my hair, and I did not mow down one single person in a school drop off line. I definitely think this is award-worthy behavior and I also decided my favorite new mock job title would be “Single Mom Survivalist”. I did it! 

I posted on social media that I think as most people were seeing this (see pic below)

Cap and Gown

I was seeing this! (see pic below)

Being a mom has been the most extremely difficult thing I have ever done. It has also been my greatest honor, and my deepest joy. Her name (Addie) means “Spirit of Joy”. Last Fall as I was trying to brace myself for her last year of high school and my pending empty nest, processing the letting go… I see a plaque that says, “Unleash your Joy”! I sucked in a lot of air and I planted my feet and gave a loud (internal) shout back, NO! I do NOT want to unleash my joy. I bought the plaque anyway and it has become a kind of mantra to me ever since. It would be criminal if I didn’t “unleash my joy” because this girl, she’s amazing. It would be a tragedy to limit her because guess what, this world needs her, she is extraordinary. Really she is. She’s leaving home and living on her own now and I cannot even.

So I’m writing about all those surprising moments we find ourselves in, especially the ones which we weren’t really ready to be thrown headlong into. Sometimes, we experience situations that unleash us from what’s familiar and send us catapulting, arms flailing, into an unfamiliar destination. It may be as simple as a life transition, or it may be as complicated as loss, betrayal, illness, rejection, addiction…These moments, they rarely feel like instances of possibility or potential but hidden in the unfamiliar instability is a potential that didn’t exist before. It’s welcoming to a deeper relationship with God, a deeper level of trusting Him in which He calls us to a higher level.

This blog is a reminder to myself and to you, about unleashed potential, genesis moments, and restoration. These are our moments of welcoming an unleashing of possibility and learning to live in a new season, even sometimes in the awkward terrible, until we dig out grace, beauty, and peace. You are not alone momma.